fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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