I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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