how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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