Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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