question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
