nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
