I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
