just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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