I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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