Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
