i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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