Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
