thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
