I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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