I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize