I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize