hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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