This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize