She's JV to your varsity
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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