I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
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Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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