Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
