Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize