hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
