There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
