I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
