Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
