Christians are straight up FREAKS
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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