I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
