There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
