am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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