Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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