he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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