i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
