My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize