8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
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Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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