im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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