two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
