Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
operation have a gay friend backfired
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
