who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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