You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
