Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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