TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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