she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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