Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
