I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
