I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do vagina's smell?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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