i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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