i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
