I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
someone owes me an orgasm
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
