um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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