Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
