I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
