Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize