i just had sex bonerless
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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