one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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