I'd wear matching sweaters with you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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